Unfortunately, a husband leaving the family is a fairly common occurrence in the modern world. The most difficult situation is when a man leaves a woman with a newborn baby. A new mother immediately has a lot of disturbing thoughts in her head: where can she get the strength to live on and not break down, how to survive the betrayal of a loved one, how much money to live on?
It happens that the birth of a child, instead of uniting the family, on the contrary, gives impetus to the flight of the father of the family. There are many reasons for such an act: loss of sexual interest in a woman, deterioration of the wife’s appearance after childbirth, fear of the unknown, accumulated fatigue, fear of financial difficulties, problems communicating with the spouse, the appearance of another woman, etc.
A husband who runs away from responsibility wounds women with double force. Firstly, the betrayal of a loved one is always difficult to survive, and secondly, the husband also abandons a newborn child who so needs a strong and loving family.
1. When experiencing a breakup, people experience pain, depression, guilt, and self-pity. And you need to be patient and just get through this period, because in some cases nothing can be returned (and sometimes there is no point), and you need to learn to live on, moving towards new events, meetings, relationships. The goal of an abandoned woman is to learn to be happy again. No matter how difficult it may be to accept, life does not end after the husband leaves the family, but perhaps a new stage in life begins.
2. A woman needs to realize that she is not completely alone. She has a little man for whom she is the whole universe. No matter how bitter and sad it may be, one cannot give up, because now she alone must take care of the baby, only she bears the main responsibility for the future life of the little person.
3. Accept any help and do not hesitate to ask your friends, loved ones and relatives yourself; in the first stages it will be extremely useful. Redistribute care for the child and among relatives, highlight “areas of responsibility.” Make sure from your own experience that friends and family, neighbors and even just acquaintances are ready to help if you clearly explain what it might be.
4. Make a schedule of meetings with close friends and relatives and strictly adhere to it. Talk to them on the phone more often - isolation can worsen depression.
5. Walk outside regularly with a stroller or using a baby sling as often as possible during the day. Move all the time, because constant moderate physical activity helps lift your mood.
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6.
Do not be skeptical about the famous proverb that time is the best medicine. As practice shows, after some time, everyone who has found themselves in a similar situation reacts more calmly to their husband’s action. However, there is no specific period; everyone has their own time frame for calming the soul.
7. Women's forums are filled with such stories. And many women successfully overcame all difficulties, improved their lives and found feminine happiness. Read the stories of online users, ask forum members for advice, share your incident. Even strangers are ready to provide support and discuss a difficult life situation.
8. Baby yoga will help satisfy the physical and emotional needs of mother and baby, and distract from sad thoughts and experiences.
9.
Don’t try to hide and suppress your mood; on the contrary, share your concerns with people, talk through the problems. Moreover, the more times you do this, the easier your soul will become.
10. One of the serious issues is money. Of course, it is difficult to provide for both of them alone with a small child in her arms. Child support for up to one year is protection of his right to the necessary material support. If the husband, after leaving, does not participate in the child’s life in any way financially, then it will be necessary to go to court.
11. In addition to the “default” happiness that appears in the house simultaneously with the birth of a child, you can (and should) consider that a child is your personal “perpetual” motion machine, existing in a single copy and powered by your positive emotions.
12.
If necessary, seek qualified help from a psychiatrist or psychotherapist who can help you cope with your emotional distress.
Unfortunately, difficulties are inevitable, but you need to learn to treat them philosophically. Your task is not to become despondent, but to find an opportunity to make the most of your current state. Remember that problems in life only harden you and force you to look at current events from a different perspective.
Prepared by Valeria Skripkina
A man and woman get married and have a child. Normal situation. But for some reason, it suddenly turns out that this “normal situation” turns out to be an unbearable burden - and the husband leaves, leaving his wife with a small child in her arms. What to do? Branded with shame? Try to get him back? Are you proud to pretend that this person was never in your life?
It is important to understand the reasons why he did this.
Reason 1. Fear
A man sometimes cannot admit to himself that he is overcome by fear. He is unbearably afraid to take responsibility. Now he always has to do something: provide for his family, take care of his wife, take care of the child... This burden of responsibility puts pressure on the man, and he prefers to retreat.
And besides, he is haunted by fear of change - he will no longer be able to live the way he used to, everything has changed, it has become so difficult, and the previous life was much easier and more pleasant. He doesn't want to give it up at all. And therefore, running away is an easy way out.
Reason 2. “I can’t cope”
How often can one hear such dialogue!
Why did you leave your family?
I realized that I couldn't cope.
This is a painful blow to male pride. Feeling inadequate, realizing that you can’t cope with a new role is terrible for such a man. True, he most likely forgot to think about how a woman left without her support and protection will now cope.
Reason 3. He is no longer the center of the universe
Before the birth of a child, a man was the main person in his woman’s life. After the birth of a child, everything changes - in first place is now the little person who has just been born. It is he who receives all the attention, and the husband seems to fade into the background. This change is an unpleasant shock to many men. They do not want to put up with second roles, and disappear into the dawn fog, as if they never existed.
Reason 4. Problems with my wife
The previous reason smoothly flows into this one. He gets tired at work, comes home - and there is no rest, but like another job, moreover, to the continuous screams of the heir. And an exhausted, exhausted wife. She needs help, and the man needs rest. A series of mutual reproaches begins.
Besides, a young mother, as a rule, has no time to take care of herself and take care of herself, and there’s nothing to talk about her intimate life - is that something she cares about?
This whole situation puts pressure on the man, and he considers it best to leave the territory.
Reason 5. Mistress
As old as time. If a man cannot get something at home, he will go and get it somewhere else. And then, for example, a pretty colleague appears on the horizon. And the man begins to build a new relationship with another woman. Before he knew it, he left his wife and two children.
Reason 6. “Well-wishers”
How often they say about broken families that their “relatives divorced them.” And indeed, when all sorts of nasty things are whispered into your ears from both sides about your “other half,” you begin to think: maybe this person really isn’t right for you? And generally unworthy? And now the family is already on the verge of divorce, because diligent relatives, friends and colleagues said different things.
How to survive after a divorce without money and with a child
Despair and a feeling of hopelessness are what wives most often experience when they are abandoned with their children. It is not clear how to live further, the ground has disappeared from under our feet, so that, as it seems at that moment, we will never return. It is not true. And the ground will return under your feet, and it will turn out that it is quite possible to live on.
Where to begin? Make a plan. Write down your income and expenses, identify resources, understand what and how much time it takes. Set goals. Some goals will cover the next couple of days, while others may turn out to be a goal for half a lifetime.
Start implementing the plan. Perhaps you will look for a job at home, maybe you will learn a new profession (for example, you have a certain amount of money with which you can afford cutting and sewing courses or take up learning Photoshop on your own), or maybe it turns out that you have you have a dacha that should have been sold long ago and invested in something worthwhile.
Stay busy all the time. This therapy saves you from dark thoughts and the temptation to enter a river for the second time that you don’t need to enter. The work will bear fruit - and now you are no longer a “penniless divorcee”, everything is getting better for you.
In your plan for life there must be a place for activities with the child- so that his mother does not disappear into work, but takes part in his life. To do this, you definitely need to find an internal resource.
And the last thing - take care of your health. It's like on an airplane - first you put the oxygen mask on yourself, and only then on the child. Your health is a matter of your and your child’s well-being. If you are healthy, calm and smiling, there will be much more joy and ups than troubles and downs in your future and in the future of your child.
It is important that your son or daughter does not suffer from the breakdown of their parents' relationship. No matter how difficult and bad it is, try to control yourself.Realize that a breakup is something that has already happened to you. Now you don't know how to survive a divorce, but believe me, it's not the end of the world. Even if now it seems to you that this is not so. Don’t think that life is over - with the departure of a man who, by the way, did not act in the best way, you get a chance to find something new and beautiful in the future.
Getting over a divorce doesn't take five minutes. It's normal to worry. The most difficult period is considered to be the 2-3 months immediately after the divorce. Psychologists advise not to make any radical decisions at this time. Give yourself time to cool down, calm down and look at things soberly.
It is important that your son or daughter does not suffer from the breakdown of their parents' relationship. No matter how difficult and bad it is, try to control yourself. Children are sensitive to your mood; try to provide them with the maximum psychological comfort that is possible in such a situation.
No matter how trivial it may sound, you need to explain to the child that dad and mom no longer live together, but both continue to love him. Tell this to your child so that your explanation fits within the framework of his understanding of the world. That is, speak to him in a language accessible to his age.
And be sure to explain that what is happening is not his fault. The child’s psychology is such that he, as an egocentric person, subconsciously considers himself guilty. “Mom and dad had a fight because I broke a vase.” Remove from him the burden of responsibility for adult relationships, for which he, in fact, should not bear responsibility.
You are hurt, you are offended, you are angry. You experience a whole range of emotions towards your ex-husband, and all of them are mostly negative. But turning a child against his father is a bad idea. After all, he loves him. Moreover, he feels like a person who has half mom and half dad. By saying bad things about a child's father, even if he deserves it, you are essentially turning the child against some significant part of himself. As a result, he may receive such psychological trauma that will ruin your child’s life for many years.
If the ex-husband does not renounce paternity, is not dangerous to the child, helps and wants to see him - let them do it. Allow visits or meetings on neutral territory. After all, a good Sunday dad is better than no dad at all.
You have the difficult task of raising a child without a father. You will work a lot, you will be tired, you will have to do a lot yourself. In this busy schedule there is no place for entertainment, and a single mother often “drives herself”, sooner or later coming to nervous, and sometimes physical, exhaustion.
To prevent this from happening, allow yourself a break. Sometimes an extra half hour of sleep is more important than a sparklingly polished stove, and a ten-minute walk in the park is more beneficial than perfectly ironed creases on your trousers. Allow yourself a “reward” at least once a day - get pleasure from some little thing. Three minutes of dancing to the radio. Drink tea quietly for five minutes. With candy. You can also smear your hands with cream that smells delicious. Or wear your favorite sweater. These little joys make a big difference. So don’t forget about them.
Conclusion
There are probably women in the world who simply get over a divorce from a man who leaves his wife and child, and move on with their lives. Everyone else is having a hard time. But guess what? You can’t give up - after all, you have you and your child. It may not be easy, but you will definitely make it.
For women who find themselves in a situation where their husband left them alone with their child, and don’t know how to get over the breakup, there is a place where they can get help and support. Contact the site's experts - and they will certainly support you and tell you how best to proceed. Free for new clients!
In life, we all have to face various difficulties that, whether we like it or not, we need to be able to overcome in order to live on. However, some of them turn out to be so difficult that overcoming them without outside help turns out to be difficult, if not completely impossible. In this article we will talk about what to do for a woman who has been abandoned by her husband. Unfortunately, there are many women in this life whose husbands leave them, and no matter what the men themselves say when justifying their actions, women are not always to blame for this. But they are not to blame, and in such a situation something needs to be done - you need to somehow move on with your life. Let's see how.
So, what to do if your husband leaves you? The first thing you need to do is pay attention to your condition in order to take control of it. Girlfriends, relatives, psychologists can give you a lot of useful advice on what and how you should do in your situation, and many of these tips will really be useful and need to be heeded. But in order to not only listen to these tips, but also use them, you need to calm down and start thinking practically. There is no need for tears, no need for accusations against your husband or yourself, no need to complain to anyone about what happened to you - you need to accept reality as it is and start thinking about how you should live further. How to do this - how to calm down, how to extinguish your negative emotions that are corroding your soul? You know, this is one of the most difficult tasks that I have to solve when women whose husbands have left them turn to me for help. Here's how we do it with them:
Firstly, you need to change your attitude towards what happened and not assess your situation from an exclusively negative side. Your husband left you - is it good or bad? It's unknown! You cannot know for sure whether this is good or bad, you can only guess what consequences this act of your husband will lead to you and him. It is quite possible that this is good for you! This assumption, at a minimum, needs to be kept in mind. Since you are reading this article, you most likely think that it is bad that your husband left you, but you may be wrong. You may be wrong for many reasons, one of which is your ignorance of how your future life with him could turn out. You may view your husband leaving you as the loss of the person you need, but if you look at what happened from the other side, you may see other points that will lead you to completely different conclusions. Let's say, in some cases, a husband, instead of leaving his wife, who does not suit him in some way, beats her, and at the same time beats his children. And there are even cases that I personally have had to deal with, and even now sometimes I have to work with, when a man can even kill his entire family, his wife and children. It's terrible and doesn't happen often, but it does happen. And just imagine how crazy you have to be to do that. It would be better if the man left the family rather than take the life of his wife and children. Do you agree? Therefore, always try to think more broadly when assessing this or that life situation and never assess it only from the negative side. In this case, the contrast between what happened to you [husband left] and what could have happened [husband became a tyrant or even worse], if we take into account the worst case scenario, will calm you down a little. Just imagine this - a worse option, in which your husband would become a real tyrant for you, and compare it with what you have now, that is, with the fact that he left you, and feel the difference. This difference, if you think about it carefully, will become a kind of analgesic for your soul.
Secondly, after you realize that, quite possibly, not everything is as bad as you thought, and perhaps even very good, you will need to deal with the reason why your husband left you. This must be done in order to decide on your further actions. Perhaps you are more to blame for this, perhaps he, or both of you made an equal contribution to your separation, or perhaps yours simply wanted to live a new life and therefore left for another woman, more interesting from his point of view, because he he wanted it that way, but he told you that it was you who were to blame for his departure. This often happens when a husband leaves his wife for another woman and at the same time blames his wife for his departure, who in reality is not to blame for anything. Or he could simply run away, not so much from you, but from the difficulties that he did not want to overcome with you. Some men, damn them, are running away from material difficulties, from pregnant wives, from their children, whom they do not want to feed and raise. Yes, dear women, there are such cowardly egoists who think only about themselves and give up at the first difficulties. So then think about what to do if your husband and child left you, that is, if he left your woman at the most difficult moment. There are many such scoundrels, unfortunately. So, dear women, there is definitely no need to return such a man. There will be little benefit from him, a lot of harm, and besides, at any moment he can betray you again. So do not refer to love-carrots - if you cannot forget your scoundrel husband - turn to specialists for help, let them help you get rid of this painful and harmful attachment to an unreliable person.
Well, if the reason for his departure really lies in you, and you yourself understand this, then you need to analyze all your mistakes that you have made in order to correct those that can be corrected and prevent them from happening in the future. Just, you know what, dear women, don’t rush to conclusions regarding the degree of your guilt in what happened. Find the strength within yourself and carefully analyze your entire life recently. Think ten times about the reasons that you think forced your husband to leave you before making final conclusions about them. And if necessary, then think eleven or twelve times. Are these reasons even reasonable? Is there something in them that can be challenged, that can be doubted, that needs to be thought about better in order to understand everything? After all, you cannot trust your husband in this matter. He, as I said above, can say anything to you, placing all the blame for his action on you. By this he can justify himself in your and in his own eyes. So, you need to think carefully about each reason that, from your point of view and from the point of view of your husband, made him leave you, before deciding on the degree of your guilt in what happened. If it is difficult for you to understand the reasons for what happened, and this often happens, then seek help from a psychologist, let him help you understand why your husband left you. I assure you, in such cases, the opinion of a psychologist is much more objective than the opinion of the woman herself, who, due to emotions, tends to talk about herself and her husband very superficially. And even more so, it will be much more objective than the opinion of her friends, who, guided by female solidarity, can simply take the side of their beloved friend and begin to blame everything on the man who left her, without going into any details of what happened. Or, on the contrary, they may, for various reasons, condemn their friend, unreasonably considering her to be the culprit for her husband’s departure. Girlfriends are different, and they also have their own interests. Understand that depending on who is to blame for your husband leaving you, your further actions will depend. Therefore, this issue should be taken very seriously.
Thirdly, when you find out, with the help of a psychologist, or with the help of an independent analysis of your situation, why your husband left you, you need to decide what to do next. Should he be returned and can he be returned, or should he look for a new man? You need to think carefully about this. In any case, there is no need to rush, there is no need to immediately rush to do something - bring back your old husband or look for a new one. We have to wait. Now your task is to calm down, and only then you will need to take action. For now, for a better understanding of what happened, write down everything that was said above on paper. Write down all the positive and negative aspects of your husband's actions. What's wrong with him leaving you? So what's so good about it? Just don’t say that there is nothing good in this - I won’t believe it. Write also about in which case living with your husband could be a worse alternative for you to leaving him. Remember what I wrote at the beginning of the article, when I said that there are tyrant husbands, life with whom is like hell? Now, imagine that your husband is just such a person [and perhaps he really was like that] - a tyrant who, having left you, made you a free woman! Well, write about the reasons for what happened. What are you to blame for, what is he to blame for, and be sure to explain why he is to blame for something and why you are to blame for something. On paper, all your thoughts will become more organized and clear, and by focusing your attention on them - you will begin to calm down - your emotions will begin to cut out and fade away. And this is exactly what you need now. Calm, only calm, everything will work out only when you calm down.
Please pay your attention to one more thing: if a woman is abandoned by her husband, this does not mean at all that there is something wrong with her. It doesn’t matter, you hear – it doesn’t matter what your husband told you about you when he left! His opinion is just his opinion; it can be based on anything, including his own selfish interests. So I ask you to refrain from low self-esteem, because the opinion of one man, especially if he is the wrong man, is not true. Think well of yourself, no matter how much you contributed to the breakdown of your family. You will always have time to realize and correct your mistakes, but now you definitely need to maintain your resilience. It is important for me to gather you, gather your heart and soul, wipe your tears, cheer you up, give you back your self-confidence, reassure you and set you up for the further struggle for a better life. Help me with this. Please. Then, even if the devil himself crawls out of the underworld, you will be able to cope with him! And you’ll even survive your husband’s departure. All the best is ahead of you, life, you know, is a striped thing, so the current black stripe will definitely be followed by a bright light stripe. And in general, who said that now you have a bad streak in your life? Everything must be treated with understanding. Everything that happens in our lives is for the better! If your husband left you, then that’s how it should be. That's what you need! And all these stripes of life exist only in our mind, it is we who paint them in different colors, including dark ones. But in reality, life does not have flowers - it simply exists. So let's not see other people's actions as a problem for ourselves, let's see them as new opportunities. Now, after your husband has left you, you are a free woman, and this, you know, is a good opportunity to build a new life. You definitely need to use it!
As for your actions, you should under no circumstances immediately look for a replacement for your husband. And you won’t be able to do this until you, so to speak, come to your senses. You need to wait a little to restore your emotional strength and approach this matter calmly, thoughtfully, and with all responsibility. After all, your future fate will depend on your choice. Often depressed, confused, unsettled by the departure of their husband, women are unable to adequately perceive reality for some time. Therefore, there is a high probability that without recovering psychologically, a woman may run into a rogue, trying to fill the void left by her husband’s departure. So don't rush, everything has its time. Rest, think carefully about what your future life should be like, what kind of man you need, where you can find him, how you can interest him. In general, you need to approach your further actions thoughtfully. Don’t be afraid, everything will be fine with you - you will eventually find a new man, arrange your life, and forget the husband who abandoned you. Because it all depends on you. And since everything depends on you, you don’t need to fear for your future - it will be exactly the way you make it. Decide to suffer and shed tears - you will suffer and shed tears, but if you begin to act decisively, thoughtfully and purposefully - you will come to a happy life.
In that case, dear ladies, if your husband left you due to your fault, and you want to return him, then before doing this, be sure to carefully study all the mistakes you have made. These mistakes will show you your shortcomings that you will need to correct. You need to change, you know? You can't just tell your husband that you won't misbehave anymore and that's why he needs to come back to you. Be an adult, mistakes must not only be admitted, but also corrected, and, more importantly, eliminate the possibility of making them in the future. Without this work on yourself, you don’t even have to try to get your husband back. Until you change - truly change, inside yourself, your husband will not return to you. And in order to change, you, again, need to calm down, carefully study all the negative aspects of your character, study your behavior, because of which your husband left you, and then begin to methodically and consistently correct all your shortcomings. And only after this can you invite your husband to return to you. If he loves you, he will not rush to find a replacement for you, he will give you a chance to correct your shortcomings. And if not, if he doesn’t love you, then there’s no point in returning him. He'll leave later anyway.
Finally, I want to tell you, dear women, that any, I emphasize, any woman in any situation can arrange her life. My husband's departure is not the end - it's the beginning! This is the beginning of a new life! There is no need to be afraid of anything, no need to cry, get angry, go into depression, close yourself off from the outside world, hate all men, and so on. All these negative thoughts and emotions will only harm you. Fear, anger, hatred, depression are your enemies. They don't allow you to see the opportunities in front of you. Having dealt with these enemies with the help of your mind, you will survive any difficulties and adversities. Life is arranged in such a way that the best in it is ahead! You just need to be able to take advantage of the opportunities life gives you. Which I hope you will do.
Hello readers. The current topic will be discussed now. What to do if your husband left you with two children? It’s a very sad situation when a man leaves and leaves you alone with two small children. Despite the psychological severity of the situation, a single mother has to wonder where to get money in order to be able to provide for herself and her children. A man can feed you with promises that he will help financially and fully provide for the children. How long will this support last? Usually, support stops when he meets a new passion and ends completely if he has started a new family life. All his finances go to providing for his current family and children. He won't need you. He promised and left.
Left with the kids
I think the main difficulty of the situation is stress for children. For children, the father's departure from the family is a strong blow to the child's psyche. We all experience unpleasant moments from time to time. The main thing is to understand that everything in our lives is solvable. You can find out how to survive a divorce from your husband.
At first, you can give yourself some slack and cry. Now, this is precisely the situation in which the release of emotions is justified and you should not suppress these feelings in yourself. Your crying will help to slightly remove the accumulated negativity and pain of experiences. You need to clear your mind of unpleasant emotions as soon as possible by any means necessary. Don't keep all the pain inside, let it out.
Freed your head? Good girl, move on to the next step. Gather your strength and get ready to move on. Don't procrastinate over time. If you drag it out, you will plunge into depression, and it will be much more difficult to get out of it. Think about your children, they look at their mother and empathize with her. You must become stronger for them.
How to live on
Removing panic
Children are not a problem, they are your family. They are the very force that will help you move on. You will move mountains for them. Your primary task is to find a job. If you don’t have the opportunity to leave your children with someone in order to get a full-time job. Try searching the Internet for remote earnings. Now this is quite a relevant opportunity for part-time work. At one time, left alone with a child in my arms, I managed Instagram accounts and set up targeted advertising. Therefore, I say with confidence that you can make money on the Internet while sitting at home with children in your arms. It's better than being left without money and crying into your pillow.
Support from loved ones
Now is the time to turn to family and close friends for support. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help. We are all human and can understand the situation. Now the main thing for you is to stay on your feet in what is happening.
Child support request
Did your beloved one go to someone else and forget about you and the children? Remind him that children want to eat. Let him pay alimony for their maintenance. Also, if the child has not reached 3 years of age, alimony is required for the maintenance of the ex-wife. You can find out more about this.
Negotiation
The gap has occurred. We need to solve problems. Since you are both parents of common children, you need to resolve several issues:
- Who will the children live with?
- Days and times of meetings with children;
- The amount of child support and spousal support if one of the children is under 3 years old.
These are the main 3 questions. If you cannot solve them yourself, go to court.
When the financial part has been sorted out, we move on to the moral part. If you still have feelings for a man, you can try to reconnect with him. You can find out how to do this. Again, it all depends on your feelings and mental state. If there was no betrayal, and the breakup occurred because of nonsense. Never try to manipulate with the help of children. This will only make the situation worse.
Self-control
When a relationship ends, both partners are to blame. Don't blame yourself or him. A man, due to his increased importance, will expect that you will ask him to return, no matter what. Don't let him see this.
Show him that you are coping with the current situation. His passing did not affect your life. I understand that it will be difficult, but you can handle it! And you won’t just cope, you’ll be happy.
Take care of yourself
It's time to take care of yourself and your children. It's time to restore your life and improve your everyday life. You should already figure out the financial component of supporting yourself and your children. If your husband expresses a desire to see the children, give him this opportunity. The more loyal you are to him, show him how well things are going for you, that you are constantly positive. Your husband may have a desire to support you financially on his own initiative, even to return to you.
Taking time for yourself is vital to practice relaxation and stay positive. If you have difficulty with this, seek help from a psychologist. Set aside at least one hour a day for yourself. This will help you in recovery. Over time, you will begin to truly enjoy life again. Subsequently, you will have new interests and goals.
- Emotions have accumulated, if you want to cry, cry. Through tears, you get rid of negative emotions and reduce feelings of pain and disappointment;
- Don't suppress your resentment. Experiencing stress is normal. Suppressing resentment will not give you the opportunity to move on, as it will accumulate and consume you more and more;
- Find means to support yourself and your children. Request alimony payment from your husband;
- Do not rush to resume communication with your husband. Make contact with him when you can reason adequately without being affected by emotions;
- Build friendships with your husband. This is necessary for your children and it will be easier for you to receive financial support from him;
- Take time for yourself, your loved one. This time will help you get rid of stress, bring your emotional background and mental state back to normal;
- Prove to yourself that you have the means to a happy life! Children are your motivation and support.
Girls, life doesn't end here. I myself went through a divorce. My husband left me with a small child in his arms. Now I am in a new marriage. I survived this period, met a new husband and gave birth to another small miracle. I assure you from my own experience. You can find your happiness after a divorce. If there are people among you who have good and practical advice on this topic, I will be glad to read it in the comments.
The universal law consists of one simple wisdom - do not do bad to others, so that they do not do bad to you, but to this you can safely add “And so as not to worsen your karma.”
Betrayal is considered one of the worst karmic acts - the karma of a man who abandoned his family is very negative, because he caused a woman a lot of pain and suffering. And therefore, retribution for such an indecent act will inevitably overtake him, and when, it seemed, everything had long been forgotten - these are the laws of the world.
What happens to karma when your husband betrays you?
“The laws of karma (as opposed to legislation) cannot be circumvented. If you try to evade karmic duties, they will overtake you and force you to fulfill your duty in a more stringent and even; ugly form. You will suffer, but the Universe will force you to put out the energy that it needs in its Great Development (but if your soul is in harmony with its karmic tasks, then most likely you will be happy)"
The meaning of family is to protect each other, give love and kindness, and continue the family line in an atmosphere of comfort and spiritual harmony. This is one of the most important tasks of any person. Alas, modern life is leaving its mark - now it has become fashionable to leave your wife with small children, not particularly care about the feelings of a once loved one, give up on everything and think only about yourself.
But, according to karmic laws, such an act is completely negative; it greatly worsens a man’s karma, and also deprives him of the opportunity to be loved in the future.
In general, a person’s karma is made up precisely of his actions - good ones improve the aura, make our destiny cleaner and more joyful, but bad actions entail cruel retribution and life lessons that will have to be worked out and learned against one’s will.
Since in marriage a man takes on the role of provider and strong point, he is given a lot of responsibility. Today's gentlemen do not always cope with this and prefer to simply run away, leaving the woman alone, without help and support.
That is, men personally deny their direct destiny to be the protector and head of the family. The Universe reads this and... really deprives a man of all his advantages, and sometimes even sexual power.
“A man’s karma in the most general terms is the opportunity and obligation to be a creator, a builder, a mover of humanity. A man who actively breaks through the darkness of the unknown is a fighter, an invader of new spaces, new knowledge, new perfection. He is a Man, and a lot can be forgiven for him. A woman’s karma is to be everything that will provide Man (and Humanity) with movement, development, construction and perfection. Apparently, this task is a little more difficult, so a woman is initially given a little more of everything: a little more opportunities and a little more responsibilities, a little more potential strength and a little more problems, a little more intuition and a little more tests for the soul.”
From the book “Woman’s Karma, Man’s Karma”
The karma of those men who abandon their small children is especially denigrated - such an offense will entail real retribution, from which it will not be possible to get rid of it. Not only does a man leave his family, he deprives a defenseless creature of his love and care, literally abandons him, although he himself brought him into the world.
The more suffering and pain such an act brings to loved ones, the more powerful the karmic retribution will be. The suffering of small children completely denigrates her to such a state that sometimes she has to pay karmic bills in subsequent lives.
The whole horror of this is that the child cannot imagine why his father abandoned him, he considered him something permanent, one of the closest people, and therefore the sudden father’s departure forever distorts the child’s fate.
It is for this reason that many of those who abandoned their families subsequently lead a far from happy life, and this only gets worse over the years, it grows - karma comes into play. Men leave for a variety of reasons, but if this departure was not motivated by weighty arguments (for example, if the wife cheated or treats her husband badly), then this will definitely worsen karma.
Although many representatives of the stronger sex sincerely believe that this is their personal right: if I want, I’ll get married, if I want, I’ll get a divorce. But that's not true. You do not have the right to take responsibility for another person and create an alliance with him, only to end up simply destroying it and leaving your partner alone with his pain.
If you are not ready to be with one woman all your life, give birth to children and put them on their feet, taking care of them, then it is better not to start a family.
“The karmic task of a man is the exploration of the World, the divine penetration of the soul into the densest matter of the Universe. A man is exploring new lands and spaces. He boldly goes into the unknown. In the territory reclaimed from Eternity, he builds beautiful castles and cultivates sprouts that will feed new generations of builders and explorers. He is a doer and creator. And it doesn’t matter what a man does: sows grain, builds cities and ships, discovers new laws of the physical world or the subtle world of the human psyche, improves technology, provides people with the comfort of earthly existence, etc. - the main thing is that he does it as could be more thorough. Everything that a man builds must serve the Harmony of the World. And if this is so, then the man fulfills his main karmic task. He is a doer. He is a ray of sunshine penetrating the dense matter of our world. He fills everything he touches with the light of intelligence. He is a logician. He learns the laws of Nature and puts them at the service of reason. He tames the wild beast named Chaos, he brings order to life. He is a creator and builder"
From the book “Woman’s Karma, Man’s Karma”
In fact, this quote makes it clear how far modern men are from their primary task, from their own essence. Denying his main tasks and his purpose, a man seems to send a signal into space: “I don’t want to be a man, I don’t like it, I can’t cope with my earthly responsibilities.”
In the future, the fate of the one who abandoned his family and caused her a lot of pain is completely unseemly: many of those who abandoned their wives and children begin to drink and slide downhill. It’s as if they have no place in this world; they begin to have difficulties with work, difficulties in the sexual sphere and in their personal lives. This is karma.
Does a wife feel the pain of an abandoned husband: a woman’s karma
“A woman herself is called upon to give birth to life, apparently, therefore all the contradictions of life are concentrated in her literally in an exaggerated form! Men wouldn’t even dream of such problems in their nightmares.”
From the book “Woman’s Karma, Man’s Karma”
In fact, women now leave just as often as men. And although the fair sex does not have such amazing karmic tasks as a man, there still remains something that negatively affects women’s karma - this is the pain and moral torment that the abandoned man experiences.
Naturally, even after former feelings have cooled or disappeared, people for some time remain connected to each other by invisible threads. Many women ask: can an ex-wife feel the feelings of an abandoned spouse? Everything here is individual, because spiritual development and esoteric abilities are different for all of us.
If the love between you was strong, and you are good at understanding people, you have a certain gift from nature, then you will feel unclear experiences at a time when the abandoned man will suffer most acutely. For other women, this passes completely without a trace: they feel nothing or are even in a kind of euphoric state from their newfound freedom.
But do not forget about karmic retribution - if you left a man who did not deserve such a fate, then you doomed yourself to work off this in later life.
In addition, such actions have a reverse, mirror side - according to the teachings of karma, after a while the same evil that you caused to someone in the past will await you. But only amplified several times so that you repent of what you have done and understand what pain you made your loyal party feel.
“And the woman? The woman herself is like a part of matter, a part of divine Nature, which is touched by a sunbeam. In any case, she is closer to matter and therefore can help a man understand matter, or rather, feel it. A wise woman is like a guide who helps a man’s ray of light penetrate into the very depths of matter. She is like a lens that can scatter a ray that is too harsh, soften its radiance, or, on the contrary, can collect and concentrate a ray of male light for more subtle and precise work. We can say that a woman is a cell of the body of the Primordial Deity. She is intuitive and sensitive. A man is a spark of the Divine Mind, striving to understand his body."
From the book “Woman’s Karma, Man’s Karma”
We can conclude that a man cannot have a full life without a woman, just like vice versa. Initially, both of these matters - male and female - are designed to merge together, this allows the couple to achieve unprecedented success, support each other in everything and create an ideal family life in which everyone feels good and comfortable.
When a woman leaves a man, she also deprives him of an important part, without which it becomes very difficult for him. To some extent, the departure of a wife from the family can break the future life of the abandoned spouse if he loses his strength and self-confidence.
And in this case, alas, the karma of the ex-wife or companion will also worsen. After all, each of us has quite obvious tasks in this world, and an unjustified separation can cause acute pain comparable to physical pain - as if a piece of a person’s body was cut off alive. And this, naturally, is a bad karmic act.
For this reason, the karma of a man who abandoned his family and the karma of a woman who left her companion are in many ways similar. And it would be a mistake to believe that a woman will have to pay less for karmic debts in the future, and a man will have to pay more. Here, rather, secondary factors play a role - for example, the weak half of humanity prefers to leave their husbands only for good reasons - when the husband cheats, drinks or engages in assault.
Naturally, in such situations there is no need to talk about any karma; the man deserves it. But the stronger sex is more often guided by a base instinct - to leave the family because it’s hard, because children interfere with their career, because their wife’s figure has deteriorated and she is no longer beautiful. And it is in such cases that we begin to talk about betrayal, about a bad deed, and about the fact that a person will face karmic retribution.